I’ve never really had a favorite dinosaur. Maybe T-rex. He has those little hands, good for playing piano.

I rarely dress up for Hallowe’en, this year will probably be no exception. Instead Blane and I play a game all year where he announces what the theme of all of our friends costumes is going to be, and he gets to pick first. And a week later he’s forgotten and has a new theme. And then Hallowe’en comes around and we don’t dress up as shit. And I make cocktails and drink them all myself and fall asleep. What I really WANT to dress up as is zombie Divine from Pink Flamingos.

I wasn’t allowed to trick-or-treat after age 11 cuz my mom had Strong Opinions. When I was little, however, she made me some baller costumes. I was a vampire one year and a devil one year and both were very intricate hand-sewn affairs. My last year it was cold and drizzly and I put on a parka and went as Nanook of the North. I consider that rather inspired.

no, ew. why are all of my questions poop related? what did I do to deserve this?

Ugh tell me about it.

Today? only once, miraculously. In my lifetime? the limit does not exist.

shit… now I have to poop.

We’re on strike! We’re on strike!
We can do anything that we like!

We won’t pickup cans or bottles, rags or junk or coffee grounds.
We won’t pickup old newspapers, dirty dipers, wedding gowns.
We’re not touching your used cotten swabs or old banana peels.
We’re not wading through your refuse while it oozzes and congeals!

And why is that?
‘Cause we’re on strike!