Okay, after further consultation, I need to put up a disclaimer.

Nobody should be asking me for advice on relationships ever.

I’m a divorcé who married the first dude who pretended to care about me and have been an absolute wrecking ball to nearly all of the people who have ever tried to get close.

I am majorly stunted when it comes to emotional development and interpersonal relationships. You really should go talk to Doctor Drew or something instead.

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