Girl: OMG I meant to put ketchup on my hot dog, but I grabbed the bottle of mustard instead! Have you ever seen anything so ironic?
Me: That’s nothing. One time, I was king of Thebes (it’s this city in central Greece), and my city was dying of this plague. So the oracle at Delphi and this prophet buddy of mine told me we were cursed because someone had murdered the previous king and never been brought to justice… AND that this murderer was banging his own mother. Gross, right? So I announce to my kingdom and before the gods and all that shit that I’m going to save the city and find this mother-boning king-murderer, and make sure he is punished for his evil ways. But… and here’s the crazy part… it turns out ~I~ was actually the regicidal motherfucker and didn’t know it (long story). But, of course the Gods and the chorus and any audience chilling on the other side of that fourth wall over there knew all along that I was the one who had brought the plague on us and was therefore damning myself. Now THAT’s ironic.